don't even...

I just can't pass up the opportunity to immortalize a very profound conversation I had with my OB/GYN at my last visit.

After scheduling the c-section for our fourth child, I stand to shake his hand and leave. As I stand, I, of course, put my hand under my belly as if it is going to help hoist me up...it does not. My MALE doctor tells me, "you know, they have these velcro belt things that are supposed to help support the weight of your belly." Now, I have tried such an apparatus, and maybe a small population of the world found these to be comfy and helpful...I was not one of them. I grinned a slightly sarcastic smile and "politely" asked him if the last time he was carrying the equivalent of a 20 pound bowling ball in his stomach, if a girdle worked well for him?

That got him going =).

He proceeds to tell me that he has experienced lots of things like a woman! Once, while running in a race, his jersey rubbed his chest raw...sore nipples. (Really!? For one whole day!? Try being acutely aware of a part of your body that you usually just forget is there, so much so that you can't wear a shirt for a week...Despite this pain, another living thing recieves ALL of it's nourishment from said body part every 2- 3 hours...if this pain produces blood and 3 months of pain...then I'll listen.) Nice try...

Next up, he says that he went on a guy's weekend hiking way up in the mountains and after a few days of rigorous trailing climbing he began to experience bleeding...from somewhere down there...yea, too much information...but this seemed to give him the insite into a woman's period. (Talk to me after it occurs every 28 days, brings on fits of tears and rage, and causes you to eat your body weight in chocolate.) Anything else?...

There was this one time he was sick and it caused him to have severe cramps for the better part of a day...just like labor. (Now, I've only experienced heavy contractions for the few hours that led up to Elijah's c-section, but on behalf of all the women who actually labor and give birth...i had to tell him that I wasn't impressed.)

Dr. M...thanks for the laugh. I appreciate your attempt, but true empathy you have not.

p.s. i feel like i should add that my doc has a very good sense of humor, and this was not him being totally serious...